You only know half of me

One would think that after making a life change and being virtually unrecognizable, it would be great to meet new people. Anyone I meet these days only knows me as a marathoner, a calorie counter, average weight, generally healthy, lover of all things fitness and wellness. I can hide the first 25 years of my life if I so choose. I can pretend I was never overweight, on the fast track to diabetes, and lacking energy and motivation. My forehead is not branded with “Former Couch Potato”…and that sounds good, right? Or so I thought. Well, yeah, it is good for the most part. Sometimes though, I get into a conversation and I feel like an explanation of the last two years of my life would be so helpful and I’m not always sure how to bring it up. Last summer, I crossed paths with someone and the moment seemed right, so I blurted it out. Mid conversation, about a week into knowing this person, I just said “I lost 60 pounds logging my food and exercise on myfitnesspal.” Thankfully, it was well received and we’ve found many lifestyle similarities. We always compare notes on foods and recipes we are liking and catching up on “The Biggest Loser” is a must. I got lucky with that one, but man it could have been awkward. I changed jobs since starting this journey and I thought it would be sort of nice not to have to be the girl trying to lose weight. Unknowingly, that had somewhat become part of me. People who knew me for many months as 220 pounds and watched me become 160 pounds day by day knew what the difference in my daily life looked like. There’s something oddly comforting in being surrounded by people who know the history.

On the continuum of Weight gain---Maintenance---Weight Loss, I have been closer to maintenance than weight loss the last few months. At the beginning of this week, I started the T25 workout program. I mentioned to someone I’ve only known for a month or two that I was starting a new program was really excited about it. I got a knowing up nod, almost as to say “oh yeah okay, huge results in 25 minutes a day for 10 weeks…you’ll lose interest/motivation and even if you do see it through and lose a few pounds, they will find their way back rather quickly.” I wanted so bad to say wait don’t judge my excitement, give me like 20 minutes and I will give you the Spark Notes version of where I’ve been and you will understand me and what makes me tick, what keeps me going, what’s important to me, how my mind works. Instead, I have conversations with this person from time to time and they will eventually get to know me on that level and hey if they don't, that’s okay too.

Fitness seems like such a big part of my life that I feel like if people don’t know that part of my life history, they don’t really know me almost like I’m lying to them. I’m a convincer, it’s just in my nature. I want to sell them on a healthy lifestyle and the truth is, not everyone is buying. While I have a lot of new people in my life since I’ve started this change, I do run in several circles where myfitnesspal and its premise is widely known and understood. Level of committed use varies, but it’s known to be a great tool if used to its fullest. A couple weeks ago, I got into a conversation about of all things the shoes I happened to have on that day and somehow it morphed into a testimonial for the website. In this case, I actually said, I promise, they don’t pay me but I take every chance I can get to tell people about how well it worked for me and how much I’ve learned. On this particular day, I had found fresh meat, someone who had never heard of myfitnesspal. I had to tame my spiel a bit and give only what it seemed like this person wanted to hear. Nothing turns you off like being oversold. So here’s to hoping that person comments on my shoes again :)

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